What “Out of Shape” Really Means

This post is part of my Fed Up series—where we name the subtle ways diet culture shows up in how we speak, think, and feel about our bodies. “Out of shape” is a phrase worth retiring.

The phrase “out of shape” gets thrown around constantly—by doctors, fitness instructors, and maybe even in your own head. But what does it actually mean? And is it really about fitness—or something else entirely?

But let’s pause and really think about it:
Out of what shape?

That implies there is a specific shape that bodies are supposed to be. But what is that shape, exactly? Maybe your mind is wandering to a thin and lean body—one that is athletic, strong, can run without getting winded, and fits neatly into our culture’s narrow (and unrealistic) idea of fitness.

It suggests that if your body doesn’t look or move a certain way, it’s not good enough. That it’s inadequate. Less than.

Almost as if there are things you’re supposed to do in order to “fit in” or get back inside the “shape” your body is expected to be.
There’s so much shame built into that language—it’s limiting and loaded.

And it doesn’t actually get at what I’d argue is the real meaning behind phrases like “I’m out of shape” or “I want to get in shape.”

In my experience with clients, what they’re really describing is their physical fitness level—not the literal shape or size of their body.

Because, factually, you can be physically fit regardless of the shape or size of your body. Let’s get into it.

*Disclaimer: This post includes terms I don’t use in practice—like “ov*rweight,” “ob*se,” “normal weight,” or “healthy/unhealthy.” These words appear only when quoting research or for search visibility. I acknowledge that this language is stigmatizing and doesn’t reflect how I view or speak about bodies*

TL;DR: Key Takeaways

• “Out of shape” is often used as a vague, shame-filled phrase that implies a body is wrong, when it’s actually about how movement feels.
• It’s rooted in fatphobia, ageism, and ableism—not evidence-based health markers.
• You can improve your fitness without losing weight or focusing on your appearance.
• Health is complex and you don’t owe it to anyone.
• This post offers more accurate language, reflection prompts, and ways to measure progress that don’t involve the scale.

What People Really Mean When They Say They’re Out of Shape

This comes up frequently in sessions with clients. Someone might say:

“I am so out of shape.”

And I’ll ask if we can explore that more. I’ll ask if they can describe what they’re actually feeling or experiencing in their body.

Here’s what I often hear:

• “I can’t go up stairs without getting winded and needing to take a break.”
• “Going for a walk around the neighborhood is really hard.”
• “My back hurts when I’m doing housework.”
• “I used to be able to get up off the floor with no problem and now I really struggle.” 

You see?

None of those experiences are really about body shape—they’re about how the body feels during movement.

And it is possible (assuming you reside in an abled body) to add in movement to make those activities feel less hard.

It’s also worth questioning how you define fitness in the first place.

Getting out of breath during movement doesn’t mean you’re unfit—it just means your body is being challenged. That’s how exertion works. Why have we been taught to see that as a bad thing?

A powerlifter might get winded jogging a few blocks—not because they’re unfit, but because their body isn’t used to that type of movement.

A runner might get winded going up flights of stairs—not because they’re unfit, but because their body isn’t used to that type of movement.

Fitness is context-specific, not one-size-fits-all.

Can You Improve Fitness Without Losing Weight?

It is 100% possible to work on your cardiovascular endurance or build muscle without focusing on how much you weigh or what you look like.

Changes in weight and body size may or may not happen when adding in movement. Your body still reaps the benefits—regardless of whether your weight changes.

This isn’t just something I made up—this is what science shows us:

From the meta-analysis, “Fitness vs. Fatness on All-Cause Mortality”: “Compared to normal weight-fit individuals, unfit individuals had twice the risk of mortality regardless of BMI. Overweight and obese-fit individuals had similar mortality risks as normal weight-fit individuals.”

From the meta-analysis, “Cardiorespiratory Fitness, Body Mass Index, and Mortality”: “Compared with the reference group (normal weight-fit), overweight-fit and obese-fit did not have a statistically different risk of mortality. Normal weight-unfit, overweight-unfit, and obese-unfit individuals demonstrated 2–3 times greater mortality risks.“

Fitness is not defined by size or weight—period. And it’s worth repeating. 

Ways to measure improvements in physical fitness without focusing on weight include:

• Heart rate metrics, such as resting heart rate, heart rate variability (HRV), and VO2-max
• Fitness tests, like tracking your 1-rep max for strength-based movements if you’re engaging in strength training
• Rate of Perceived Exertion (RPE)—rating on a scale of 1-10 how difficult a movement feels in your body compared to earlier sessions
• Daily activity markers, like noticing it’s easier to go up stairs, carry groceries, or walk longer distances without needing a break

When weight loss is your only measure of “success”, *actual* indicators of fitness often get overlooked.

Benefits of Movement That Have Nothing to Do With Weight

There are so many benefits to movement that have nothing to do with weight loss or appearance.

Here are some reasons movement might support your overall well-being:

• Regulates your nervous system (especially helpful during stress)
• Supports blood sugar regulation
• Decreases risk of cardiovascular disease
• Improves sleep quality
• Increases self-esteem and mental clarity
• Creates space to connect with your body—to learn its limits, strengths, and needs, not just what it looks like

Movement can be a form of care—not a punishment or a fix for your body.

Better Ways to Say You Feel “Out of Shape“

Let’s stop using “out of shape” as a vague stand-in for not feeling good in our bodies. It’s not just inaccurate—it reinforces harmful beliefs about worth, value, and what it means to be “healthy.” You deserve more specific, compassionate language—and support that meets you where you are.

Here are some ways to reframe or describe what you might actually mean, without using the phrase “out of shape” or “in shape.”

Instead of: “I want to get in shape”

Try:

• I want to start exercising
• I want to be able to run faster
• I want to work on my cardiovascular endurance
• I want to build muscle
• I want to feel capable of lifting heavy things
• I want to feel able to walk without getting tired

Instead of: “I’m out of shape”

Try:

• I don’t feel physically fit
• I don’t feel good or comfortable in my body
• I’m not able to move my body the way I’d like to right now
• That movement was really challenging for me
• I’m having feelings about not being able to move like I have in the past

These phrases might be more accurate—and much kinder to your body.

You Don’t Owe Anyone Health or Fitness

Not everyone wants to work on fitness—and that’s okay. You don’t owe movement, performance, or health to anyone. Choosing not to focus on fitness or health doesn’t make you bad, lazy, or wrong.

Health is incredibly complex. So many external factors influence it—like access to care, stress, trauma, discrimination, time, disability, mental health, and more.

And speaking of disability, we can’t talk about this without naming ableism—the assumption that all bodies should move a certain way or be capable of certain things. This shows up in how we define fitness, in the language we use (“get back to normal,” “fix your body”), and in the expectation that everyone should always be working toward doing more.

You’re allowed to live in your body as it is. Working on your health and fitness isn’t a moral obligation.

Reflection: What Does “Out of Shape” Mean to You

If you’ve ever said or thought, “I’m out of shape,” I invite you to pause and reflect:

• What does “out of shape” mean to me?  
• What sensation or emotion was I experiencing in that moment?
• Was I comparing myself to a past version of me or someone else?
• What if I took size or appearance out of the equation?

Being honest about your experience can open the door to better care and a deeper relationship with your body.

In Closing: Explore Movement Without Shame or Pressure

If this resonates with you, you might also like my post on Body-Positive Fitness: Embracing Strength Without Restriction. It offers a gentle, supportive way to reconnect with movement, without pressure to change your weight.

If this post brought up questions or reflections about your own relationship with movement, you’re not alone. It can be tough to unpack these beliefs, especially when they’re so ingrained in how we talk about health.

If you’d like individualized support to explore movement, nourishment, or body image without the pressure to change your body, I’d love to help.

As a weight-inclusive dietitian, I offer virtual sessions to help you connect with your body on your own terms. Reach out here to learn more or join the waitlist.

You can also take my free quiz to better understand your relationship with food—and get a personalized next-steps guide to help you move forward with care.

Want ongoing support? Sign up for my newsletter where I share non-diet tips, resources, and reflections—straight to your inbox.

Frequently Asked Questions About Being “Out of Shape“

Q: How can I track improvements in fitness if I’m not focusing on weight?

There are many ways to measure progress that have nothing to do with the scale. For example:

• Your resting heart rate decreases over time
• You can lift heavier weights or do more reps than before
• You recover more quickly after activity
• You can walk or jog longer without needing to stop
• Your RPE (rate of perceived exertion) is lower for movements that used to feel harder

Paying attention to these kinds of shifts can help you track progress in a way that reflects your body’s actual capacity—not just a number on a scale.

Q: Can you be fit but still feel “out of shape”?

Yes. You might feel winded, tired, or unmotivated even if you’re physically active—especially during stressful periods, illness, or burnout. Feeling “out of shape” doesn’t always reflect your body’s actual capabilities. It may reflect fatigue, under-recovery, or unrealistic expectations.

Q: What does “out of shape” actually mean?

Most people use “out of shape” to describe difficulty with physical activity, but the phrase often carries shame tied to body size or appearance. In reality, it usually refers to someone’s current endurance, strength, or energy—not the shape of their body.

Q: How can I improve fitness without focusing on weight loss?

You can build strength, increase endurance, and feel more confident in movement by incorporating consistent, joyful activity—like walking, dancing, stretching, or resistance training. Research shows these benefits happen regardless of weight changes.

Q: Does being “out of shape” mean I’m “unhealthy”?

No. Physical fitness is just one part of overall health—and people in larger bodies can be fit, just like people in smaller bodies can be unfit. Health is complex and includes mental, emotional, and social well-being, too. And being “healthy” isn’t something you have to work toward if you don’t want to!