Fed Up: Your Idea of Healthy Eating Isn’t Actually Healthy

Welcome to Fed Up, where I call out the BS in diet culture and challenge everything you think you know about nutrition. Every month, I’ll take on a popular health topic, break down the myths, and help you rethink what healthy actually looks like—without the stress, guilt, or impossible rules.

So let’s get into it—because your idea of healthy eating probably isn’t actually healthy.

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So often, I hear from clients that they want to eat healthy. They tell me they know ‘what’ to do but just need some accountability from me. While I totally get where they’re coming from, I want to throw something out there—maybe you don’t actually know ‘what to do.’

Stay with me…

What’s really happening is that your brain is filled with a bunch of expectations or rules about how eating SHOULD be. Because that’s what we’re told, right?

But do you really know how to nourish yourself in a way that’s genuinely healthy? Keep reading, because I’m about to dive into why those expectations are actually holding you back from eating healthy.

The Paralyzing Power of “Should”

When we talk about eating healthy, what often comes to mind? A long list of “shoulds” that feels more like a high-stakes game of nutritional Tetris than anything else.

It’s like you’re trying to fit together a puzzle of food rules that are supposed to add up to a perfect diet.

Here’s what I mean:

• Organic: It’s got to be free from all “chemicals”.
• Fresh: Nothing canned or frozen, because apparently, that’s not ‘real’ food.
• No preservatives: Because fewer ingredients are seen as automatically healthier.
• Homemade: If you didn’t make it, can you even trust it?
• Meal prepped: Every meal needs to be planned and prepared in advance.
• Not processed: Anything processed is labeled as a no-go.
• High fiber: You need lots of it, but not too much to cause discomfort.
• High protein: Essential, but only the right kinds and right amounts.
• Healthy fats: Important, but heaven forbid it should be too much!
• Carbs: Necessary, but the fear-mongering around them makes you want to avoid them.
• Variety: You need a bit of everything, but it’s terrible to waste food, so you better finish everything on your plate, even if you’re full.
• Visually appealing: If it doesn’t look good, it probably isn’t good for you.

This ‘list of others’—the things people say we ‘should’ prioritize—can actually be paralyzing. Each one adds a layer of stress because it’s simply impossible for people to follow all of these rules.

But there’s only a couple of things that actually matter — that will support you in eating healthy.

These are: Eating enough and honoring your capacity.

What Does “Eating Healthy” Really Mean?

After dismantling the paralyzing power of “should,” let’s explore what it really means to eat healthy. This topic could fill an entire series of posts, but let’s keep it straightforward for now.

The Foundation of Healthy Eating

If we think about a hierarchy of nutrition needs, kind of like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the foundation isn’t the micros—micronutrients—or an obsessively balanced plate; it’s about having enough food.

Seriously, if you’re not eating enough calories to meet your body’s basic needs, nothing else matters.

Your body can’t operate efficiently or use any of those nutrients the way you hope it could if it’s running on empty.

The Societal Spin on Health

I know health is really important to you—I’d argue that it’s important to all of us in some way.

But here’s something to chew on: health is important (for some) because there’s this message from society that says people who prioritize “health” are morally better than those who don’t.

Society has built a whole hierarchy that praises certain eating habits and looks down on others.

Ask yourself this: Are you actually chasing health, or are you chasing a thinner body because that’s what society has told you health looks like?

Is it possible you’re confusing health with thinness?

The Real-Life Definition of Health

When I ask clients what being healthy means to them, it often boils down to being at a weight that is less than what they currently weigh.

But here’s the hot take — focusing on losing weight when:

• you’re not eating regularly or consistently throughout the day
• you’re ignoring your body’s cues
• you’re only sleeping a few hours a night
• your mental health is in a bad place
• you feel a ton of shame and guilt around eating
• and you don’t have a support system

— is actually the opposite of healthy.

Why? Because all that focus on restricting food actually piles on more stress, not health.

Let’s Talk About Judgment in Healthy Eating

Having tackled what healthy eating really involves and the pressures piled on by societal “shoulds,” it’s time to address another significant barrier many of us face: judgment around feeding ourselves.

The idea that eating healthy should be easy is a myth that not only undermines our experiences but also ignores the complex reality of nourishing ourselves and our families.

The Reality of Feeding Ourselves

Can we try to take judgment away? Feeding yourself is not easy. Period.

Here’s what the process actually involves:

• Deciding What to Cook: This requires mental energy to decide on meals, juggling your own preferences with those of any family members.
• Inventory Check: Figuring out what ingredients you have and what you need.
• Shopping List Preparation: Making a list of needed items.
• Grocery Shopping:
  • Time and Transportation: Allocating time and figuring out transportation to and from the store.
  • Physical Effort: Considering how much you can physically carry, especially if you’re using public transport.
  • Financial Cost: Budgeting for groceries, which can be a constraint.
• Transporting Groceries Home: Bringing everything back can be physically taxing.
• Unloading and Storing Groceries: Finding space in your fridge and pantry for everything.
• Meal Preparation:
  • Ingredient Prep: Washing and preparing ingredients.
  • Cooking: The actual cooking, which takes time and attention.
• Eating: Finally sitting down to enjoy your meal.
• Cleanup: Cleaning up after cooking and eating.

Do you see what I mean?

There is no other basic human need that requires as much preparation and brain space as eating does.

The Emotional Weight of Eating

Idolizing things that aren’t within your capacity produces shame. Shame does not create change. It leads to resentment of yourself. Which leads to being stuck.

What ‘things’ am I talking about? Buying organic/fresh produce when it’s not in your budget. Choosing a recipe that takes 3 hours to make when you don’t actually have that time. Working out 5 times a week when you can’t remember the last time you got 8 hours of sleep in a night…

Your body doesn’t care if the vegetables you eat are heated in a microwave from frozen or plucked fresh from the garden. It’s your brain that’s been conditioned to judge these differences—because we’re taught there’s a right and a wrong way.

We’ve been told what “good nutrition” or “being healthy” is supposed to look like.

The Truth About Nutrients

Your body just needs carbohydrates, fats, proteins, and fiber to function (and enough of them). It doesn’t care where these nutrients come from—a carb is a carb, whether it’s from a slice of freshly baked artisan bread or from a spoonful of white rice.

This might seem oversimplified, but it’s a fundamental truth that diet culture complicates unnecessarily.

Our brains, bombarded with nutritional advice, end up believing that nutrients need to come in a certain way to be beneficial. This isn’t just misleading; it’s flat-out wrong.

What would be different if you shifted your focus from your brain’s priorities to your body’s priorities? From what you think you should be doing and eating — to what actually is needed by your body (that’s WITHIN your capacity).

Drown out the noise of the “shoulds” from society and diet culture and give your body the microphone.

Why I Don’t Do Weight Loss Nutrition Counseling

All of this is why I don’t focus on weight loss in my practice. What the scale says tells me nothing about your health status or how well you feed yourself. Your weight is going to do what it’s going to do.

Instead, what really matters is your relationship with food, how you feel about your body, and finding the support to truly connect with both. These are the things we can work on together—areas that actually promote health.

Rethinking Healthy Eating

It seems like everyone has an idea of what eating healthily should look like: only organic, must be fresh, not too much of this, definitely more of that. Sounds exhausting, right?

Here’s the truth—those rules don’t actually teach us how to nourish ourselves. They’re just arbitrary standards that complicate eating more than they need to.

Healthy eating is about understanding and meeting your body’s needs within your capacity, without the stress. It’s about feeding yourself in a way that feels good and makes sense for you, not just following a checklist.

Let’s focus on what your body needs and how you can meet those needs realistically and compassionately.